From the 1960s-1980s recipe box of a midwestern grandma.

Ingredients:

4 cups cooked cabbage

1 cup canned tomatoes

2 cups bread crumbs

1 cup grated cheese

Salt and pepper to taste

2 tablespoons margarine

(Try adding hot dog slices or Spam cubes)

Directions:

Grease baking dish. Layer cabbage, tomatoes, seasonings, and top with sprinkled cheese and bread crumbs and oleo.

Bake 30 minutes in pre-heated 375 degree oven.

Granddaughter’s Notes:

Once again here, the proportions seem off for a presumably family-sized casserole.

Like, should it not be one head of cooked cabbage; one to two cans of canned diced tomatoes (why didn’t she specify the type?) to taste (we’re going to go with two because, proportions!); not worried about the bread crumbs because this feels like a throw away ingredient like crushed potato chips on tuna noodle casserole (add it or don’t, as you like, a little or a lot, what the hell); and (goodness, grandma) not enough cheese. Are you really from the midwest? The entire slogan of the American so-called midwest is “More Cheese.” One cup is, like, enough for one serving or at most one third of the casserole dish, by midwestern rules, which I absolutely didn’t make up.

So, dear internets, please revise recipe: two freaking normal-sized cans of diced tomatoes and about 4 to 6 cups of shredded cheese, to your preference. (Any cheese you like except American, which doesn’t shred/grate so well. Similarly, probably not Velveeta, although we wouldn’t argue.)

Note: Big fan of grandma’s crazily scrawled “try hot dogs! try spam!”

Hell yeah, try ‘em both. Can’t hurt but, preferably, only one per casserole but it probably wouldn’t really matter, honestly.

“Grease,” and I quote, “baking dish:” knowing grandma and guessing, despite the bizarre ingredient proportions that she intended for a 13” x 9” dish. That said, if the cabbage is too little for the dish? Pick a smaller dish.

But I’m not a chef.

Also, lol, she wrote “oleo” again. In fairness, “fake butter” or “vegetable oil” or “margarine” all would be more letters. So, yeah, for “oleo” substitute basically whatever fat is handy.

On second thought, don’t “slice” the hot dogs lengthwise, if you add them. That would texturally be real gross. Cut them into little coins like one does for franks ‘n beans.

Also? Seems like if you don’t want to try hot dogs or Spam that bacon or bacon bits or cubed ham would all be great.

For that matter, what the hell, spring for ground beef.

I’m starting to like this recipe.

(But not with grandma’s paltry amount of cheese. You’re gonna want to use more than one damn cup. Obviously.)