I feel sorry for those guys with mullets. I feel sorry for those with biker jackets, but no motorcycle. Pity those squirrely white guys whose visors are on upside down, their pants hanging around their asses and also pity the black men who influenced them. I pity the pseudo-religious philosophers who think the key to Buddhism is to smoke buddha. Isn’t it a shame when fat people wear tight clothes? You’ll never catch me in high water nut-huggers. I feel sorry for the poor souls who have so many piercings and are running out of places on their body in which to put holes. I feel for those people who choose not to work, choose to live on the streets and choose not to practice good personal hygiene. It’s too bad that those silly girls never think of leaving the boyfriend who uses them for a punching bag and a glory hole.

I feel sorry for those of us caught up in the never-ending battle we call life.